CAP = Children’s Alopecia Project. This is a non-profit organization that I am honored to be apart of. I found a new family this weekend. I was welcomed with open arms, bald heads, fun wigs, and warm hearts. I am beaming with joy I just had to get these words out to inspire all the Alopecians out there feeling alone, and looking for a community to call their own.
The universe led me to CAP. I was on the treadmill (walking not running, I’m no hero), watching American Ninja Warrior. A man named Kevin Bull dominated the course like a beast, but like a super hairless beast. He had Alopecia and was an advocate for the Children’s Alopecia Project. I was so inspired by his story I felt compelled to get involved. I signed up to mentor at an event called Calipalooza. A three day camp for children with all types of Alopecia, parents and siblings were welcome too and came from all over the country. This event was life changing to say the least. I signed up wanting to be a positive role model for these kids, but they did that for me.
I was so nervous walking into camp. I didn’t feel bald enough. I have this feeling a lot. Like I have too much hair to classify as a true Alopecian, and I wear wigs most of the time. I saw so many mentors that were completely bald, and there I was hiding under my wig that most people thought was regrowth, because my wigs look so damn good ($$$, that’s why I’m broke AF). As more mentors arrived and we started talking I realized we were all so different, but so similar. Some of us were completely bald, some had patches of growth, some of us were in wigs, and some of us (me) were jealous of those without body hair. Our stories were all so unique, from the ages it started to how our parents and society reacted to it. No story was alike, but what we shared was the bond of knowing what it feels like to be alone, to think something is wrong with us, to feel like we don’t belong. We also shared that feeling of self-acceptance (some of us more than others), the ‘IDGAF’ attitude that comes after so many years of caring too much. We all reach that point sooner or later. It was really special to feel so at home with complete strangers. To know someone so well without knowing them at all, and feeling that way towards 170 people. I felt so lucky to have Alopecia. For the first time in my life, I felt like I belonged. These were my people. I was inspired and proud to be in such good company.
The camp was in beautiful Calabasas, California right outside of Malibu. For three days we spent time getting to know these kids through sports, ropes courses, ice breakers, hikes, campfires, Q&A panels, and my favorite: cupcake decorating! There was a big unicorn themed dance dance on the last night. The unicorn was actually the theme and mascot throughout, because we are all magical, unique, beautiful creatures, like unicorns. The kids (and mentors) outdid themselves in unicorn costumes, rainbow makeup, horns, and lots of glitter. They danced and sang, and ate a shit ton of sugar. We decorated 144 cupcakes that day, and they were gone in 30 minutes. These kids can eat! I made a big unicorn cake that was quite a hit. It was really fun to see these kids letting loose and being themselves. They were so confident. It was confidence that they didn’t just have at camp, but outside in the world in their everyday lives. These kids were so strong and knew who they were. The ones that weren’t quite there will be soon, and I cannot wait to see that!
Coming into this experience I wanted to give back to a community I am so passionate about, but these kids gave back to me in ways I never could have imagined. They gave me the confidence that I had shied away from over the last year since coming out. They taught me to own who I am, because that is unique. Basically they made me feel like I needed to quit being a little bitch and own my shit, and I am really grateful for that. I wish I had just a drop of their strength when I was growing up and coming into my own, bald spots and all. But what matters is that I am here now. We are all here together, and we will keep coming back to show up for one another, because that is what families do. We are family, and damnit we will get up and sing.
If you aren’t inspired to join our family, that’s okay. You have to be ready at your own time, but if you are even a little bit curious, please email me, or go straight to the source. This organization is amazing. These kids are truly heroes, and their confidence is contagious.
